Sixth Weekly Observation Entry: December 14, 2014 #OohPinally
After all this observing, I came to three
conclusions. The first conclusion is that I am so oblivious to things that have
been happening right before my eyes. My next conclusion is that I’m the best
big sister ever. And my final conclusion is that I don’t think I’ll ever want a
kid of my own. (Going through this once more would be way too much for one
lifetime.)
Oblivion means: the state of being unconscious or
unaware or the state of not knowing what is going on around you. (Mirriam
Webster) But beyond this
dictionary definition, I never quite knew what it meant till I watched the
movie “The Fault in Our Stars”. Augustus, one of the two main characters says, "I'm
in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that
oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a
day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will
swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
(The Fault in Our Stars) It was a beautiful movie; the entirety of it was based
on oblivion. Though, I sort
of find this to be quite odd, because I’m sure the word oblivion has been
mentioned in depth about a million times before this movie was created.
Perhaps I was just that oblivious.
It seems like I’ve been living in a tiny
little dome. It’s about 7 ft. wide and 6 ft. high. And everything beyond my
dome has seemed too far and unnecessary for proper recognition. It’s quite sad
now that I think of it, but I’ve learned to venture beyond every now and then.
And when I do, I often run into my sister.
I glance
at her every now and then. I’m always wondering what she’s doing. It seems to
have become an obsession. (I hope that doesn’t sound too creepy). Perhaps I am
also a tad bit scared. Scared that she might think no one notices her and her
achievements. Scared of falling into oblivion again.
I used to have nightmares of Lyric
running away. I’d run after her but she refused to notice me. This kind of
nightmare is considered “Chase Dreaming”. Chasing something in
a dream could mean that you are falling
behind in your life and trying to catch up before it gets away from you. (Klein) This is true. There is so much I missed. But I believe I made up for all
my absences within the past three months.
My birthday was yesterday. I turned 17. I
love my birthday because it is the only time of the year when my sister writes
down the sweetest things in my birthday card. It just makes my heart melt. In
her sloppy cursive handwriting, she wrote:
Tita,
I
hope you can still read cursive! Anyway, happy birthday dorkarella! Thanks for
being the best sister I could ever want and for all the great times. You really
are the best even though we fight… a lot. I still love you. I’m genuinely happy
for how far we’ve come and I’m proud to call you my sister. We’ve gone through
hell and back together but we always manage to push through. Thank you for
being a good role model and for allowing me to use your clothes and sleep in
your room. Well I have more to say but we have to eat. I love you with my whole
heart.
~Lubdig
Only she can sound like a loving
sarcastic asshole in a birthday card. But who cares, because she loves me. I
cherish our rare gushy moments like this. I love having a little sister. But
I’ll never want a kid of my own. Well, not a teenager. Perhaps I’ll just give
my kid away when he/she turns 13. (Just kidding.) But on a serious note, if it
is this complicated to have a hardheaded little girl, it must be hell having to
raise one.
I have accomplished things I never would
have, if not for this project. I traveled beyond my little dome. I established
a better understanding of my sister. And I have learned so much about Lubdig
that I’ve decided to never have kids. (One less girl afflicted by the epidemic
of teen-pregnancies.)
Works Cited
Klein,
Stephen. "Dream Stop - A Free Online Dream Dictionary of
Interpretations!" Dream
Stop. DreamStop, 19 June 2012. Web. 14
December 2014.
"Oblivion."
Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, 2014. Web. 14
December 2014.
The
Fault in Our Stars. Dir.
Josh Boone. Screenplay by Scott Neustadter
and Scott Neustadter (screenplay), Michael H.
Weber. Perf. Shailene
Woodley and Ansel Elgort. 2014. DVD.
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